Dare to be Foolish

Don’t be afraid to be weird, don’t be afraid to be different, don’t worry too much about what other people think. Whatever it is that’s original in you and your work might sometimes make you feel uncomfortable. That probably means you’re on the right track, so just keep going.

Dare to be foolish.

Terri Windling

I love this quote, not least because I've always felt a little weird. Perhaps that's partly why I love solitude. I look around me at the world and it does seem that it's getting easier in some ways simply to arrive as you are, weirdness and all. But not worrying "about what other people think" doesn't always come easy - at least not for me.

The first time I read this quote I almost missed the last line: "Dare to be foolish", an interesting word choice - foolish. If I'm foolish, the story in my head goes, I will be rejected, judged, excluded. And the fear that arises at the thought of all of that is a powerful motivator to stay safe, careful, sane. But I've begun to discover that stepping outside the bounds of what is comfortable, taking some risks, putting words down on the page - even words I may find difficult to write - is the only way for me to grow. And along the way, I've found acceptance and belonging I could never have imagined.

Toko-pa Turner, in her beautiful book, Belonging, says "there is a wild woman under our skin who wants nothing more than to dance until her feet are sore, sing her beautiful grief into the rafters, and offer the bottomless cup of her creativity as a way of life". Turner speaks too of the ways in which we "join groups, relationships, or systems of belief that, to our diminished or divided self, give the false impression of belonging. But places of false belonging grant us conditional membership, requiring us to cut parts of ourselves off in order to fit in".

I've spent a lot of time trying to fit in, and - to be fair - many of the people I thought might not accept me as I am would probably have been far kinder than I expected. (People usually are, in my experience.) Maybe some of my unwillingness to arrive fully as myself is more about my own sense of vulnerability and discomfort than about the judgement of others. I'm coming round to the idea that we each carry gifts meant to be released into the world, and that the work of this releasing is often scary, painful and inconvenient.

So I'm taking leaps, diving deeper, swimming further from the shoreline of my known experience. Sometimes I feel as though everything is coming together; other times I feel like a failure. But I trust, as Windling says, that I'm "on the right track".

I share more reflections on this theme over at Cloudlight, including a poem I wrote about self-acceptance. On the Magical Words page, you will find a new word, juvenescence, relating to beginner's mind, which is a helpful way to navigate discomfort.

With appreciation,

Carri.