Letting the Light Back In

The arts provide a bridge of understanding and artists can help us comprehend a different world. They encourage empathy. They give us common ground. They can help us to heal deep wounds. And now - when for many the world may seem like a darker place - the arts can let the light back in, little by little.

Mark Ball

I sit down at the little desk in the wendy house, in my garden, that doubles as both a therapy space and a place to paint. I take out my watercolours, paintbrushes, paper and palette. I fill two jars with water and feel a familiar pulse of anxiety as I brush colour onto the page. After a while, I forget my nervousness and become lost in the attempt to render what I see.

I started painting earlier this year, after a friend recommended an online art course. I was surprised at the feelings evoked in me as I began to experiment, at how strongly I was drawn to learn, explore. I'm not one of those naturally-talented creatives who can pick up a brush and create a masterpiece. My attempts began clumsily, and I still find that the process requires a lot of focus and effort.

I had to overcome much inner resistance to get started. Art, I reasoned, is done by artists, people out there with some magical skill, who are in some way allowed to paint, draw, sculpt. Their work is important. Who am I to waste time and money on such a frivolous hobby? I've thought about this resistance, about the beliefs that fuel my reluctance to make time for creative play. I still don't fully understand it, but some of it has to do with the conditioning that says only work that earns, that can be measured in some economic unit, is worthwhile. On some level I feel that to create simply for the joy of it, and perhaps for the joy of a small circle of friends or family, is indulgent. I should be doing work that is meaningful.

Ball's words are so helpful, and remind me that art is not a luxury, an indulgence or a distraction from important work. Creative work is soul work. Today I painted an owl. I started with a light, almost invisible wash of colour, building up the contours of the owl's form layer by layer, until it was time for the smallest details. I bent over the page, brush in hand, making tiny strokes, aiming with some final touches to make her come alive. Then I went out for a walk, and stopped off at an exhibition of local artists. I felt my heart expand as I stood in front of the paintings and sculptures, delighting in the opportunity to see the world for a few moments through someone else's eyes.

Seeing the work of another, and doing my own creative work, enlarges my perspective and opens me to the world again, especially when I feel discouraged and weary. As the year draws to a close, I feel a strong need to replenish, so that I can move into the new year ready to give myself fully to the people and things I care about. Artistic play is one way to nourish my spirit, and I wish you the time and opportunity to enjoy some playful creativity before the year is out.

With appreciation,

Carri.